as my kakaotalk status says right now (that's the instant messaging program everybody uses on their smartphones), "i went to crazy land this week and i'm not back yet." the past two weeks of my job have been strange and confusing in my head. from outside, i think i believe i appeared to be going through my teaching and everything i needed to do just like normal, but inside my head it didn't feel so normal... the first week felt like the fastest week of my life and the second one felt like the slowest week of my life.
the first was the last week of our school year in kindergarten so i was trying to get everything finished with my class and had to push my poor four year olds to finish every page of their books so their parents wouldn't complain that we didn't use them enough. and then we had graduation and then my green class was not my green class anymore!
the second week, the students had off from school and the teachers got one week to prep for the next year. one week. not a summer or even a month or two weeks, but one week and during this time, we had to, in addition to planning for the year, move into new classrooms and play with the new students three days of the week so that on the first day of school, they wouldn't be scared. and of course there were meetings. so, since there was so little time to do what i needed to do, you would think that it would feel like a short week, but somehow each day lasted two days and still wasn't enough time to get everything finished!
so why was i crazy? it's hard to describe, but the first week, even though i knew graduation was coming this week- i knew for months ahead of time- i didn't feel like it was ever really going to come. last year, when brighton kindergarten had graduation, i was mentally prepared for almost two months. i was told to finish our textbooks by the end of january and i did (and after was told that they only said that because no teacher was ever able to really get them done on time, so they said an earlier deadline than they wanted! so i was left with almost three weeks to fill), and the kids were practicing their speeches for graduation about a month in advance, so it felt like the end was coming. because kics does not really make plans, there was one practice for graduation the day before where the vice principal stood at the front and asked into the microphone, "where should those kids sit...?"
and i definitely did not finish the books on time... last year when we started kics kindergarten, we thought the kids would be in their classes for a year and a half the first year because they started in march (because the korean school year starts in march), but kics 1st grade starts in august (not really sure why... i guess it kind of follows the american school year), so the years wouldn't match up and we thought we'd correct that problem in the first year. so, when i was teaching my 5 year olds i did not do a lot of their book thinking i was doing the next teacher a favor by leaving so many pages available for them to do. but then, michael and i decided to stay here one more year and i became their teacher and they decided to keep the school year the same and i found out that i had not done myself any favors! now they had to complete the whole book in half the year. but i didn't really think about this problem until... january. and then also during january i found out about two other workbooks that had to be completed! i wasn't the teacher who taught those before august and when i became their full time teacher in august, nobody told me about those. so, poor kids, at the end of the year, they were furiously doing so many workbook pages while i did figure eights around the room giving instructions to some kids and collecting pages from others and constantly saying, "write your name" and "don't yell 'teacher' i will come to you."
however, i was very happy with my class at the end of the year. i started teaching them full time in august and i feel that since that point, we have progressed millenia! in august, they could not really communicate with me and they did not understand a lot of what i said. at the end, they understood almost all my directions including things my really smart brighton students hadn't learned like "go get" and "bring me" and "go over there and then do this." and they could have conversations with me. on the very last day, one of my students gave me a flower and said, "why did i give you a flower?" and i said, "you don't know?" and she said, "no, i know, come here" and then took me aside and gave me a little speech about how their class was moving up to yellow class and she was sad about it and everything!
and in august, lunch was like animals feeding in the wild. nobody would stay in their chair. they just stood up with food on their plates and still holding their chopsticks and go get colored pencils off the shelf and open them or go start playing with toys. and they'd always get food on the floor and were constantly shouting at the teacher to give them food (all in korean) and somebody was always bursting into tears. in february, everybody stayed in their seat throughout lunch, they said, "can i have some more rice and soup please?" "yes please" and "no thank you" and they could clean up their own spills without even telling me about them! they still burst into tears, but it didn't last as long.
in august, 20 min of teaching was all i could get, but in february, they sat in their seats for an straight hour when they had to work on their workbooks. so, maybe i just didn't want it to end and i was so focused on what we had to do that i just didn't think about graduation coming. but then, suddenly, it came and even though it was terribly disorganized and one year ago i would have gotten really angry, i did not care. well, i cared a little, but if they're not gonna give the foreign teachers any information or instruction, they can't expect us to do anything to help, so i didn't try.
that same day was the last day for 3 korean teachers and one foreign teacher. and so half of our staff changed in one day. i was quite depressed about my partner teacher leaving because i really liked my old partner teacher and the new one i was getting (i have known her for a while because she volunteered for kindergarten) barely speaks english and although she is very nice and sincere (as the koreans like to say) she does not know what to do and she is really nervous and weak (weak in that, when the vice principal yells at her, she cries and folds... and she's 42). 2 teachers who could speak english well and 1 who could not speak that well, but was smart were replaced with 2 teachers who can barely speak english and 1 who can speak english ok, but is not smart. and the one korean teacher who stayed had the lowest english before and now has the best. so... every conversation i had this week took about 4 times as long as it would have before and about 5 times longer than it should have. so many times i would ask a question and get an answer to a totally different question and it started to really get to me. on friday, when michael did that to me, i yelled at him! but don't worry, it wasn't serious.
also, the vice principal was micro managing every little thing about our classroom set up and decoration. most of the things she said to do were fine and we did them that way, but some were just impractical and since she's not gonna be in there every day for 5 hours and i am, i changed them. then she'd come tell my assistant teacher to change them back when i wasn't there. then i'd get upset and i'd ask my assistant to talk to the VP (the VP can't speak english!) to tell her what we needed and why. she'd come back to me and just say, "we can't. wongomnim (VP) say" but with no reason and i can't stand with that! (as my friend ashley likes to say.) so, one day, after the wongomnim had made her cry, i had a conversation like this with my assistant:
me: i made some changes to the room
(she gets really nervous)
me: i did this and this and this
(she gets even more nervous)
me: don't talk to wongomnim about this
her: don't say to wongomnim!?
me: yes. don't tell her.
her: but, later, wongomnim see. wongomnim angry.
me: ok, if she get's angry, she can talk to me. you don't talk to her. i did it. not you. tell her to talk to me.
her: so, i don't say to wongomnim?
me: yes
her: and later, tonight or tomorrow morning, wongomnim see?
me: yes
her: and wongomnim angry
me: yes
her: and wongomnim say to me, "change!"
me: yes. and tell her hanley did it. talk to hanley.
(total amazement and fear on her face)
her: we can't ignore wongomnim! what about God?
me: (crap... what do i say to that...) ok i'm not going to be mean or rude to her, i'll just talk to her. but just tell her to talk to me. be strong!
her: ok... (she cannot believe what i'm suggesting.. i think she thought i was a nice person)
so the next day i was prepared to talk to the wongomnim about this (in a polite and professional way, of course), but she never brought it up!
the korean assistants' jobs were to set up and decorate the classrooms and the foreign teachers, who do the bulk of the teaching, were supposed to be in the office doing planning most of the week. and my assistant, being so sweet, kept telling me she would do everything. i would tell her about something i was planning to make for our class and she would say she would take care of it. and since that was her job, i was fine with that.. until friday, when nothing she said she would do for me or for her was done... so i had to have a talk with her and tell her to stop helping other people with their work and to get ours done and just do the easiest things. during this conversation she asked if i wanted her to make bows from ribbon and glue them onto each letter card of the alphabet. and i was like, "no!!!! just do easy things! that's too much work! just do easy!" so she laughed and said ok, but i ended up doing two out of the 3 things she had to do anyway. and anyone who knows me knows i am not fast at doing things, so that is really saying something when i can finish a project faster than somebody.
the entire week was full of being unsure of where half the teachers were or what they were doing and just always having to wonder if they were doing their half of the job or if you were gonnna find out later that what you thought you didn't have to worry about is suddenly your problem. there was so much bad communication going on because people don't really make plans and when they do, they change them or they aren't clear, on top of the fact that nobody can speak both languages well. i heard so much bad english and so much korean that by friday, that is how i was thinking. in my own head, about 70% of my thoughts were in bad english and 30% were in korean (of course bad korean because i don't know much). i did so much cutting of things this weekend. in addition to other things, i cut out each individual letter of all of these words: contentment, trust, prayer, thankfulness, responsibility, honesty, courage, generosity, obedience, forgiveness, kindness, and patience. twice! i sat at my desk and focused on nothing else while i cut out those letters. my face was getting hot, i needed to take a drink, if someone came up next to me, i was startled, my nerves were on edge, but i just cut and cut. that's when i felt the most crazy.
thinking about it this weekend, i realized it was the first time since coming here, besides vacations when nothing is as usual, when i wasn't teaching any kids. my favorite time of the whole week was when i was teaching an example lesson to all the teachers. i think dealing with kids is much better for me than adults. adult behave just like kids actually, but you can't really do anything about it because you expect them to already have self control. so you just have to feel uncomfortable when adults start yelling at each other instead of stopping them. so, i like kids and i like teaching. i think it's good that the students are coming tomorrow! maybe spending all my day with 3 year olds who can't understand anything i say will restore my sanity, ha!
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